After 5 kids and 14 and a half years of having kids at home and being a full time stay at home mom, my youngest baby has left me for kindergarten. I am having a hard time with this.  I keep walking around an empty silent house wondering where the time went. What do I do now? No diapers to change, no children's' books to read, no princess to play (Well I guess the princess are still there, but, you know what I mean).

What do I do now? I have done my research this last year. I think I have annoyed all of my friend who are in this situation by asking them what they do.  I think some of them thought I was making fun of them, but I knew I would have a hard time with this change.  I can move anywhere (we have), I can make new friends, but don't take my babies away from me. The last time I had this hard of time was when my oldest was born and I left work to stay home with her.

So this is what my blog is about: Who am I? What do I do now? This is more therapy for me than anything else. But if you're reading this, you're welcome along for the journey.

A little about me: I was married at the tender age of 19. I finished my bachelor's degree while my husband finished his. My degree was in history with a minor in English and I had grand visions of teaching high school and changing the world. After graduation, we moved to Northern Virginia and I found a job as an administrative assistant at a small architectural firm.  It worked. after a couple years of trying to have a baby, we succeeded and my beautiful, oldest daughter was born.  I discovered my favorite career that I was made for--a mother. We moved to Michigan and my son was born, we moved to Idaho and my daughter and then my other son was born. We moved to Wyoming and my daughter was born and now we live in Oregon.

I love being a mom, but I hate housekeeping.  I don't like to clean, but I do it. I don't really like to cook, but I do it. I don't like to do laundry, but I do it. I absolutely loath doing the dishes, the kids do most of them and my husband does the rest. What's a mom to do?

I am trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life.  I am going to be 37 soon. I have got many years before my husband retires and I can't see myself staying at home for the next 25 years waiting for him to do just that. Do I start a career? Do I go back to school? Do I volunteer? Do I make myself miserable trying to have the perfect house and perfect meals and what not?

For right now I am trying to find my way.  It has been one week that all five of my kids have been in school full time and I have discovered that I have lost myself the last 14 and a half years.  I don't know what I like anymore. I don't know who I am anymore.  I am taking a class at the local college to see what it is like to go back to school, but I also want to take this time to find me so that is why this is called finding mom (I am mom). Sorry if you were looking for a finding your birth mom from adoption blog.